Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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