i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
