I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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