took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
