i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
this beer tastes like vomit already
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
