God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
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