Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize