so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
