get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
