If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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