Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
