Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
