Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize