i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your penis caused this!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
