I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize