alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
