Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize