I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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