just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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