in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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