I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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