You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
