he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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