No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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