put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
