So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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