I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We had sex on a dog bed..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
