So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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