He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
