All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
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The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize