Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
