Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize