so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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