New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
