i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
