i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
