C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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