DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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