I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
