I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
