she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
