Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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