Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
we're so committed to being not committed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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