I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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