Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think I died a long time ago.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
