i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
