but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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