I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
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He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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