she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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