I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
