tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
