Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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