So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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