Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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