idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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