Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
