lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
