I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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