what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
