I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
