No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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