garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
