she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
