What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
