I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
