I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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